It’s not you, it’s me.
Do you ever get your hopes up about a product? Whether it’s the price, hype, or brand, I’m sure we’ve all expected a product to work flawlessly. However, we end in a puddle of splotchy powders and chunky glitter. And in the end we must say…
“It’s over.” *tosses product into trashcan*
With these five products, it’s about time I showed them the way out with strongly worded letters.
1. Wet n Wild Color Icon Bronzer in “Ticket to Brazil’
You were cheap and blotchy and sparkly. You appeared matte, only to let me down with streaks of chunky glitter on my cheekbones.You lured me in with your $4 price tag, but I will not fall victim again.
2. NYX Butter Gloss in “Maple Blondie’
You don’t even look maple-y. You’re very sticky, and I prefer a more slippery feel to my glosses. If I had long hair, it would most certainly get stuck in you. Also, tone down on the perfume. I’m sorry, you’re just not my type.
3. Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick
I had high hopes for you. I had dreams of creamy, shimmery pigment gracing my eyelids, only to wake up to a dusty, chunky, colorless sheen. You let me down. I tried to salvage our relationship and use you as a highlight, but you didn’t even show up. I’m tired of you letting me down. Goodbye.
4. Neutrogena Healthy Skin Primer
Our relationship was going so smoothly. After applying my makeup in the morning, my hands would be covered in a fine layer of glitter, and you stood there and let me blame it on eyeshadow fallout. But the whole time, it was you! You were the one full of cosmetic glitter and making me appear oily, not radiant! You didn’t even make my makeup last longer. Sometimes I miss your moisturizing feel, but I can’t go back. I only loved you for your SPF, anyway…
5. Wet n Wild Eye Shadow Single in “Sugar”
I should have known the hype about you and your friends was for nothing. You did not do a thing for me. I tried time after time, brush after brush to use you for something, but it was all for naught. Powdery, opaque, and difficult. You aren’t even worth the 79 cents I paid for you.
Okay, beauty beans! I hope you found humor in my version of a “cleaning out my collection” post. If you liked it, let me know!
What products are you breaking up with this year?